To Hold
by christmasinacup
Summary: Dana Scully hasn't had someone to confide in and lean on in a long time. Monica Reyes is all that and more. Set during "William."


_AN: Set during "William." I'm primarily an MSR shipper and also wish Doggett could just tell Reyes he loves her, but I've always seen both Dana and Monica as bi and this idea just came to me._

She felt like they would be waiting for hours. Never mind the monsters that had stared her down and the creeps that had kidnapped her, this was the most terrifying thing she'd ever experienced.

"Dana."

She looked up and saw Monica Reyes holding a paper cup of water through her blurred vision. Monica handed it to her and she took a sip. She hadn't realized how cracked her lips had become and how dry her throat was from crying and yelling.

"Thanks," Scully mumbled, barely audible. She sniffled and tried to wipe her eyes, but more tears just crept in. She set the paper cup down on the table and leaned forward to place her head in her hands. Quiet, body-shaking sobs overcame her. Monica sat down beside her and pulled her into her arms.

"I'm here for you," Monica whispered, holding her close. She rubbed Dana's back and let her cry. She didn't pretend everything was going to be okay, because even she couldn't sense the outcome.

Dana started to feel soothed by Monica's grasp on her. She admitted that it was nice to have a female friend after all these years, especially someone as open and warm and loving and loyal as Monica Reyes. In the last year, they had become more than friends for short moments at a time. It started with chaste kisses after long nights of wine and takeout at Dana's place, before she returned to Quantico. There was even an impromptu sleepover at Monica's new apartment shortly after she moved in. Dana meant to help her finish decorating the living room, but the tension had built until Dana had to place a phone call to her mother and boldly lie about needing to work late at night, apologizing for asking her to babysit on such short notice while Monica clutched her arm and looked at her mischievously.

Monica placed a soft, quick kiss on Dana's hair and then rested her head against Dana's. Maybe there had been a time in Dana's life where she would have felt uncomfortable being so intimate with anyone in public, being enveloped by another human being in front of others. But she was so damn tired of the pain and grief and loneliness. All she wanted was to feel as happy as she could without Mulder.

She missed him every day. Her trust in him never faltered and she still had faith they would see each other again. She didn't need romance, she hadn't before him. All that she needed to truly be content was William. But having a close connection with someone, having a friend who could be a shoulder to lean on as well as a relief at the end of a stressful day when all she needed was affection and a little something physical, was nice. It felt good and sometimes Dana thought she maybe didn't let herself feel good often enough.

Monica had no expectations. They'd set boundaries for their very loose relationship early on. Friends first, partners when the case called for it, and fun when there was time. Sometimes, very rarely, there was nothing but time for bliss and red wine. Most of the time, they needed to trust each other at work and make sure the other was talking care of herself and keeping her head above water. They kept it from Doggett so as not to hurt his feelings or put him in an uncomfortable place.

"Dana?"

"Yeah?"

"I wish I could reassure you," Monica whispered. Dana sat up and looked at her, feeling a quick shock of electricity from the depth of Monica's chocolate gaze.

"Thank you," she said quietly. "I… I just don't know what to say."

"You don't have to," Monica said. "Just know I'm here."

Dana squeezed her hand and held her gaze. "I do."

The words Monica didn't say were enough for Dana. Just knowing that she had someone there for her after spending so much time feeling alone was all she needed. Pain was easier to carry when she knew there was someone wishing it away as hard as they could.

"Dana Scully?"

Dana instantly recognized the voice of the doctor taking care of William and untangled herself from Monica, jumping up from her chair.

"Yes, that's me."

"We ran every test you asked and more, but it looks like nothing is wrong with your son. He has a small bruise on his head, but other than that, William is fine. You can go pick him up from room 141."

Dana exhaled and it felt like the first real breath she'd taken since they brought William in. She smiled at the doctor and said a quick thank you.

"Thank god," Monica said, coming up behind her. Dana turned to her with confusion in her eyes.

"I don't understand -"

Monica put a hand on Scully's shoulder. "You need rest, Dana. Think about why later. For now, be excited you can take William home."

"We can take him home," Dana said, a soft smile spreading across her face. "Come home with us, Monica."

Monica didn't miss a beat. "Of course."

 **XXX**

William was down for the night and after checking on him ten times within eight minutes, Dana finally relaxed enough to share a glass of wine with Monica.

"I don't know what I would do if I lost him," Dana whispered, staring into the depths of her glass.

"Don't think that way," Monica said. "We won't let anything happen to him."

"I know," Dana said, smiling at her and taking her hand. "I'm so glad you and John are on the X-Files."

"Me too."

"I think he likes you," Dana observed, taking a sip of her wine and continuing to hold Monica's hand.

"I know," Monica said, a hint of sadness in her voice. Dana caught the sadness and squeezed her hand.

"You okay?," she asked, looking at her friend. Monica met her gaze and sighed.

"John is a great man. A decent, loving, smart man. Ever since I got assigned to the X-Files, I've tried to think of him as strictly a co-worker. I don't think he's ready to open up. And then, you and I started -"

Dana nodded. "Ah."

"I care about him a lot," Monica said, taking a sip of her wine. Dana set her glass down and took Monica's from her, placing it on the coffee table. She looked into Monica eyes and took both her hands in hers.

"I am your friend and I want you to be happy," she started, taking a deep breath. "You've been there for me in ways I never imagined and I haven't had someone like this since my sister died. But you're also one of the first women I've felt comfortable opening up to and being intimate with. That being said, this is complicated. It was never going to stay carefree and easy, no matter how hard we can try. If you want to go back to being just friends, I can do that. I'd rather have you in my life a little than not at all."

Monica smiled and Dana saw the stars in her eyes.

"Thank you, Dana. That's very kind of you to stay. But you don't have to -"

"I want to," Dana interrupted. "Whether you want to see if John will finally open the door all the way and let you in or you just want some time to think and be alone, I want you to make the best choice for you. And you alone. I also can't promise that everything wouldn't change tomorrow if Mulder came back."

Monica chuckled. "Men. So much more trouble than they're worth sometimes, huh?"

"Yeah," Dana whispered. But they were both thinking about how much trouble they'd go through for their partners. The both knew that Mulder had always been in the back of their minds, after every night together or passionate kiss. It was unavoidable.

"How about this? I'll consider what you said. But for tonight, I don't want to decide. I just want to enjoy this moment and this life," Monica said. She leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Dana's lips.

"Is that okay?," she asked, practically whispering. She didn't want to pull away. She wanted to stare into Dana's blue eyes. Monica half expected Dana to say that they needed to end it. That they couldn't do this tonight. That Monica should go home.

But she pushed her lips onto Monica's and kissed her hungrily.

"That's more than okay," she murmured. "For tonight, just kiss me."

And she did.


End file.
